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this is what i get

by vaultboy

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1.
We start talking ‘till we stop talking Was it something I said? Why is it so difficult Is this typical Every message on read And then its over before it Over before it Over before it begins It happens over and over Over and over Over and over again They say it’s all in my head but it’s so hard to explain if I have the right words they come out the wrong way I’m bad under pressure But what can I say I can’t do anything I can’t do anything I can’t do anything right mmm I can’t do anything right mmm I can’t do anything right mmm I can’t do anything, I can’t do anything I can’t do anything Made plans, hanging out Late night chinatown I thought they were my friends until No one’s showing up No call, no response I don’t know what I did But the night is over before it Over before it Over before it begins It happens over and over again Over and over Over and over again They say it’s all in my head but it’s so hard to explain if I have the right words they come out the wrong way I’m bad under pressure But what can I say I can’t do anything I can’t do anything I can’t do anything right mmm I can’t do anything right mmm I can’t do anything right mmm I can’t do anything, I can’t do anything I can’t do anything
2.
Two in the mornin' And I’m way too stoned, I can't drive home, it's pourin’ Oh, god, it's pourin' And while we're talkin' And our bodies move in closer, can't ignore it I can't ignore it I see the way she's fallin’, she’s fallin' She’s fallin' right into my arms, mm And I can tell I'm fallin', I’m fallin' I'm fallin' right into her charm, mm She said, "Tell me ghost stories, turn down the lights" Light up a candle, she's holdin' me tight God knows where we'll be by the end of the night Oh, oh While we're tellin' ghost stories While we're tellin' ghost stories, mm Sit in the silence Where the only sound is breathin' in the quiet And I don't know where my mind is You're the only thing I want and I won't fight it, oh And I can tell I'm fallin', I'm fallin' I'm fallin' right into her charm, mm She said, "Tell me ghost stories, turn down the lights" Light up a candle, she's holdin' me tight God knows where we'll be by the end of the night Oh, oh While we're tellin' ghost stories While we're tellin' ghost stories, mm While we're tellin' ghost stories Oh, oh She said, "Tell me ghost stories, turn down the lights" Light up a candle, she's holdin' me tight God knows where we'll be by the end of the night Oh, oh We're tellin' ghost stories We're tellin' ghost stories (Oh) We're tellin' ghost stories Oh, oh
3.
So back and forth I don’t know if you’re bored You want nothing then more Ahh Say something should change but you just stay the same I can’t see in your brain Ahh Every time we kiss I ask you why we do this every time you say that you’re just having fun well... Why you gotta be like that? Late night calling my phone telling me you wanna get close Ahh There you go giving me hope I don’t know Why you gotta be like that Always coming on too strong Never wanna stay too long Ahh Then you say that if I fall that it’s all my fault yeah, why you gotta be like that? yeah, why you gotta be like that? Can’t call it friends Yeah, ‘cause it always ends With you bending all your rules Ahh, I know That it’s kinda sadistic and I’m masochistic You push me away, then you say that you miss it I shoulda learned by now That I can’t figure you out, ‘cause
4.
i know you don’t love yourself like you did when you were 12 you’re missing a piece of you it hurts worse than it used to i know that you hate it when you have to make brand new friends cause you’ll get to wondering if they’ll ever let you in you don’t understand why anyone would love someone who’s not enough i wish you knew how much i love you i wish you knew how bad i need you here i wish you knew how much i miss you i wish you knew how bad it hurts to hear that you’re not liking it on earth anymore but when you feel like you’re alone in the world i hope you know how much i love you i hope you know how bad i need you here i know you don’t like to talk about all of your dark thoughts you don’t like to ask for help you carry it by yourself you think that if you’re too seen the people you love might leave you feel like you bring them down you say that it’s your fault how? you don’t understand why anyone would love someone who’s not enough i wish you knew how much i love you i wish you knew how bad i need you here i wish you knew how much i miss you i wish you knew how bad it hurts to hear that you’re not liking it on earth anymore but when you feel like you’re alone in the world i hope you know how much i love you i hope you know how bad i need you here i hope you know how much i love you i hope you know how bad i need you here i hope you know how much i miss you i hope you know how bad it hurts to hear that you’re not liking it on earth anymore but when you feel like you’re alone in the world i hope you know how much i love you i hope you know how bad i need you here
5.
They say finding love takes confidence but you took all of mine Now looking back at all the people after us I’ve liked, I just see you Even though we’re through So what’s the point of trying When you haunt the memories you’re not even in They say getting over someone is like climbing up a hill And once you reach the peak of it it’s easier to feel, so I guess i’m Forever doomed to climb Cause even when I feel i’m getting close I don’t see any end in sight And I’ll say I’m over it but only to be sure that I won’t want you if you show up at my door This is what i get For staying when I knew I should’ve left For holding on to you right through the end Cause now you’ve built a home inside my head In space you don’t deserve but I guess this is what I get This is what I get, this is what I get Ohh, this is what I get They say finding love takes innocence but you took all of mine Now looking back I think you’d rather choke than swallow pride As if you could Do something that was good But I guess it’s just easier to treat someone so badly just because I say I’m over it but only to be sure That I won’t want you if you show up at my door This is what i get For staying when I knew I should’ve left For holding on to you right through the end Cause now you’ve built a home inside my head In space you don’t deserve but I guess this is what I get This is what I get, this is what I get Ohh, this is what I get This is what I get This is what I get, this is what I get Ohh, this is what I get

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released November 15, 2022

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